When Your Passion Competes With Jesus: Letting God Purify What You Want

There is something particularly sad about the story of the rich young ruler.

He came running to Jesus with an important question:

“Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?”

By every outward measure, this young man was doing well.

He was young, wealthy, and he was a ruler.

And apparently, he was deeply religious.

When Jesus reminded him of the commandments, his response was confident:

“Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.”— Mark 10:20

I wonder what he expected Jesus to say next.

Perhaps he anticipated affirmation. Maybe he expected Jesus to confirm what his successful life already seemed to suggest: You are doing wonderfully. Keep going.

After all, this was a man accustomed to achievement.

He understood effort.

He understood results.

He knew how to do the right things and produce desirable outcomes.

Then Jesus said something he did not expect.

Jesus Went After the One Thing He Couldn't Surrender

Mark includes a beautiful detail that we should not miss:

“Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him…”

What Jesus said next came from love.

“One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor… and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.”— Mark 10:21

Jesus touched the place where this man's obedience ended.

The young ruler could obey commandments.

He could behave correctly.

He could achieve.

But could he surrender?

That was different.

Jesus was asking him to release the very thing that had probably given him security, status, influence, and perhaps even a sense of identity.

And for the first time in the conversation, the young man could not perform his way to the desired outcome.

He had to let go.

He had to trust.

He had to follow.

And he walked away... sad.

When We Want Jesus and Something Else

I think we can read this story too quickly and conclude:

Well, I am not rich, so this doesn't really apply to me.

But the deeper question is not simply about money.

The question is: What do I want so deeply that I struggle to trust Jesus with it?

For one person, it may be wealth.

For another, marriage.

Career.

Recognition.

Children.

Ministry success.

Influence.

Beauty.

Achievement.

Comfort.

Health.

There is nothing inherently wrong with many of these desires.

The danger begins when our desire for something becomes greater than our willingness to follow Christ.

That is when a passion becomes a competitor.

What Are You Afraid Christ Will Cost You?

I wonder whether part of the rich young ruler's sadness was that he could not imagine a life with Jesus being worth what Jesus was asking him to surrender.

He knew the value of his possessions.

He did not yet understand the value of Christ.

And perhaps this is where many of us struggle.

We want Jesus, but somewhere inside we fear:

If I completely surrender to Him, what will He make me give up?

What if I never get married?

What if I don't become successful?

What if God's plan doesn't include the life I imagined?

What if following Him costs me something I really want?

So we keep parts of ourselves just outside His reach.

We will follow Jesus—as long as He does not touch that.

But wholehearted surrender eventually brings us to the place where we can say:

“Jesus, I want You more than I want the outcome.”

That does not mean the desire disappears.

It means the desire no longer rules us.

God Doesn't Necessarily Destroy Your Passions—He Purifies Them

This is where I think surrender is often misunderstood.

We can imagine that surrendering something to God means we will certainly never have it.

But surrender is not always destruction.

Often, it is purification.

God begins separating the desire from the things that have attached themselves to it.

I may still desire success, but I no longer need success to prove my worth.

I may still desire financial abundance, but money no longer has to make me feel secure.

I may still desire marriage, but another human being is no longer responsible for completing me.

I may still pursue health, but my body no longer has to look a certain way for me to feel valuable.

I may still desire influence, but I no longer need applause to know that my life matters.

The passion may remain.

But its position changes.

It moves from the throne into the hands of God.

That is a purified passion.

There Is a Way That Seems Right

Proverbs tells us:

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”— Proverbs 14:12

Our way often makes perfect sense to us.

If I work harder, I will be secure.

If I earn more, I will be satisfied.

If I achieve this goal, I will finally feel significant.

If I can get this relationship, this position, this body, this recognition—then I will be okay.

And sometimes our methods actually work.

We get the thing.

The problem is that getting what you wanted and becoming whole are not the same thing.

You can achieve the goal and lose your peace.

Build wealth and destroy your relationships.

Create the perfect body and become obsessed with maintaining it.

Build the career and discover that success cannot quiet your soul.

God is not merely interested in whether you arrive.

He cares about who you become on the way there.

The Blessing Without the Sorrow

Proverbs also says:

“The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it.”— Proverbs 10:22

There is something different about receiving and pursuing things under God's leadership.

His wisdom protects us from making good things into gods.

His boundaries protect us from destroying ourselves to achieve them.

His presence keeps the gift from becoming our identity.

His correction keeps our passions in their proper place.

The goal is not simply to have what we desire.

The goal is to be able to carry what God gives us without being controlled by it.

This Matters for Wholeness

This is especially important in our health journey.

Even health can become an impure passion.

We can begin with a desire to steward our bodies well and gradually become consumed with weight, appearance, numbers, food rules, exercise, or longevity.

Something good quietly becomes something that controls us.

Wholeness asks a different question.

Not merely: “Did I reach my goal?”

But: “Who am I becoming as I pursue it?”

Am I becoming freer or more enslaved?

More peaceful or more anxious?

More grateful or more dissatisfied?

Is this pursuit helping me honor God, or has it quietly become the place from which I derive my worth?

God cares about the goal.

But He also cares about your soul on the way there.

Hold Your Passions With Open Hands

The rich young ruler walked away sorrowful because there was something he could not place into Jesus' hands.

That is the part of his story that should make us pause.

What am I holding that tightly?

What do I believe I absolutely must have in order to be happy, secure, successful, or complete?

And if Jesus touched it, would I still follow Him?

The wholeness-minded Christian does not become a person without ambition, dreams, or passion.

We simply refuse to allow our passions to become our masters.

We bring them to Christ.

We allow Him to examine them.

Purify them.

Redirect them when necessary.

And teach us how to pursue them without losing ourselves in the process.

Because ultimately, the greatest gift Jesus offered the rich young ruler was not poverty.

It was Himself.

“Come… follow Me.”

That invitation still stands.

May we never become so attached to what we want that we walk away from the One our souls need most.

I love you,

Oyin.